Friday, February 18, 2011

From Sara To Nolan: A Belated Happy Valentine's Day!

Us, about 4 years ago and so young!
When I was 16, I had figured I wouldn't consider marriage or children until I was at least 30.  When I was 20, my mind had not changed.  Obviously, by the time I was 23 and staring into Eva's newborn eyes, that had changed considerably in a short time!  Than, as Nolan and I progressed into couple-hood and realized remarkably fast, then an engagement, and then (dun dun dun) we eloped, obviously it was a lesson that though you have ideas of what adulthood may look like when you are very young, versus still young (29 in June!), are incredibly changeable because you really don't know what adulthood itself may look like for you.

We got married when I was 24 and Nolan was barely 23.  Here we are 5 years later, working on careers, raising two crazy kiddos, and weathering our 20's together.  I don't know about all people, but my 20's were a really rough ride of making lots of mistakes, indecision about myself, and learning how to be an adult.  I certainly didn't walk out of my parents house at 18 ready to be an adult.  I certainly thought I was but in reality, no.

When I got pregnant with my Eva and was facing the realities of single motherhood, I had prepared myself the best I knew how and the one thing I knew was that I was not going to march men constantly in and out of my life.  If a man wasn't serious about me and my daughter, then he didn't need to be there.  Imagine my surprise when I met Nolan, who was kind, serious but utterly witty, and very much so focused from the get go about his future with me and Eva.

Eva and Nolan took to each other quickly, with a bond so deep that it took my breath away. After a couple weeks, I flat out said, "I cannot get into a relationship with you unless you are sure that this is your future."  A lot to ask of a man as young as we were, right? But I had to know for certain and he answered, very assuredly, "If I wasn't going to marry you and be a father to her and the rest of our children, I wouldn't be here."

Things went from there, within less than 6 months we were engaged and married, and facing life together.  I was always utterly blown away by his confidence in us, his work ethic, gentle and gentlemanly ways, and his focus on building our family.  Like, any married couple, we have faced our share of storms already in the five years we have been married, but we somehow still come out holding hands and keeping our family pointed towards the sun.

Nolan is an amazing father.  Over the past few years, I had a couple semi-serious health problems, we've had some financial woes, and had another child.  We still laugh together and we sit together as a family for dinner, but most importantly we focus on making a life that is entirely our own.  He has encouraged me, and I hope I have done half as well for him, to pursue goals that make me happiest.  Nolan works hard to be a good provider, father, husband, and most importantly, my best friend.

He has steadfast love and focus on us.  It's almost like a laser, how strong his focus is on his family and the future.  Most importantly, we still make each other laugh, we still talk to each other about everything, and we adore each other.  When I look back on the very different course my life took than what I had initially imagined, I can't imagine wanting to be with any one else than Nolan and my children.  So, though it is belated, thank you, Nolan for being a wonderful husband and father.  I look forward to our whole lives together as we have barely just begun.

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